RABBI TSIPORA GABAI

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While there are some religions that demand absolute, total faith, no questions asked, Judaism sees no problem in the harmonious – if often lively – co-existence of both a strong, all-encompassing faith and an imperative, no less, to question.

It is Abraham's questioning of God that sets us our very first example. Abraham questions God about His decision to destroy the cities of wickedness, Sodom and Gomorrah. And God listens to Abraham. He takes Abraham's advice and even goes one better: when only one righteous man, rather than ten, can be found in Sodom, God still makes certain he and his family leave before the city is destroyed.

Now, if this is our example – and from the very beginning of our history – then this informs, defines and nourishes who we are and how we deal with issues in life. For if it is alright to question God it is alright to question man.

We have a whole holiday where questioning is an essential, integral part of the ceremony. And not just any holiday: Pesach (Passover), the holiday that both forms and informs our nationhood, our independence. Questioning at Pesach is considered so important that in the Talmud itself you have "tips" on how to cause and encourage children to question before and during the Seder. It is so important, that a special segment of questioning is set aside to be carried out by the youngest, the one with the least opportunity to question in day-to-day life. It is the holiday where we teach and give practice to questioning.

Why? Because in Judaism it is important to imbue our children, as early as possible, with the concept of "asking questions" We therefore strive to instill in our children the freedom to ask questions so that it becomes a part and parcel in their adult life.

There is a natural thread that runs straight and true in Judaism from childhood to adulthood. It begins with “ MAH Nishtana” – Why is this night different – and its endpoint in maturity is “Lo ta’amod al dahm re’echa” – you shall not stand by silently in the face of your fellow man’s adversity. Encouraging a child to question what he or she sees and doesn't understand paves the path for questioning anything that is “off” or “incomprehensible” as an adult.

For if it is alright to question God it is alright to question man. It is alright to ask anyone and anything!

So go ahead:
Ask The Rabbi!




Why do we wear kippahs? Is it ok to wear a hat instead of a kippah?

The Hebrew word "kippah" means "dome", which is what the small, round head-covering most often identified with Jews looks like. The kippah itself is not the issue, but rather the head-covering in any way, shape or form. So, of course, a hat or a cap or etc. would be acceptable.

If you have heard the term "yarmulka" for the kippah, here is an interesting twist. While the word itself comes from the Ukranian or Polish languages, Jews managed to find a beautiful connection within the Jewish context for the word. The phrase in Aramaic: "Yareh Malkah", which sounds very close to "yarmulka", means "awe of the King" (meaning God of course). And awe before the King is one of the main reasons for wearing a head covering. It is considered a measure of great piety and love for God: "cover your head in order that awe of heaven may be upon you" (Talmud, Shabbat 156b). This was considered the reason and the option for constantly wearing a head covering in earlier times. In ancient times general head covering was not a specific religious requirement. The priests in the Temple, for instance, were required to wear a specific head covering during their service there. But no other people were required to do so. In the Bible covering one's head usually indicated an issue of mourning.

We find the first mention of head-covering in a religious context in the Babylonian Talmud. It talks about judges being required to sit in judgment with their heads covered, and that those visiting the sick should also be with covered heads. In both cases Rashi (one of the greatest commentators, 11th century) cites the reason for this as "awe of the Shekhina (another term for God's presence).

The eventual constant wearing of head-covering was most influenced by two episodes:

1. Rav Nahman bar Yitzhak (3rd-4th century Talmudic sage in Babylon), about whom the following story is told:
When he was very young, astrologers foretold that Rav Nahman would grow up to be a thief. When his mother heard this, she commanded young Nahman to always keep his head covered, in awe of God, and to ask the Holy One blessed be He to have mercy on him and change his fate. And, indeed, Rav Nahman grew up to be one of the great Rabbis in Babylon, with an important role in putting together the Babylonian Talmud. Still, a story is told that at some point his head covering accidentally fell off and Rav Nahman got a sudden, inexplicable urge to steal…

2. The other source is Rav Hunah son of Rabbi Yehoshua (4th century Talmudic sage), who out of a sense of great piety and devotion declared that he never walked more than four cubits (cubit=75.80 cm.) without a head covering, because the Shekhina was ever above his head. This was one of the sources cited in the Shulkhan Aruch (Rabbi Yosef Caro's compilation of Jewish law used to this day) for the constant wearing of a head-covering.

Still, most men wore a head covering when saying a blessing, or praying, or when in the synagogue studying, etc., and it took a long time for constant head-covering to become the norm. Ashkenazic Jews, for example, did not begin doing so until after 1565, when the Shulkhan Aruch was published and supported the issue.

There were not a few great Rabbis who continued to hold that heads should be covered only during prayers, etc. These included some of the greatest commentators of their times, like the Maharshal (Rabbi Luria, 16th century), The Gaon of Vilna (18th century phenomenon), The Chida (great Sephardic Rabbi of the 18th century) and even Rabbi Yosef Kapah (20th century), the greatest expert and translator of Rambam (Maimonides) who also held that a man should cover his head only during prayer.

While the debate went on for many years, today a head covering is worn constantly, as a sign of identity and identification as well. Rabbi David HaLevy Segal (the Taz, 17th century) held that a head covering, especially during prayer, was important as a distinguishing mark between Jews and non-Jews.

Since wearing a head-covering all the time and in all places is not specific Rabbinic law, if this endangers one's life there are many authorities who hold that one is permitted to go uncovered except during prayer, etc.

Why Wigs for Women?

The wearing of head-covering for women is not a Biblical obligation (Mishnah, Ketubot), but rather more an issue of the standard of modesty – tzniut – as defined by the Jewish community later on.

The issue of a woman's hair is not so much one of not wanting to look attractive to other men. It is more the general definition of hair as sexually erotic, having the ability to arouse sexual or erotic thoughts in men who look upon it (Berachot 24a).

Not all married religious women shave their heads nor do they all cover their hair the same way. Some cover it totally, using a scarf; some leave two fingers' worth of hair showing in front; some wear a hat; some wear a wig and there are even women in some Hasidic groups who wear a scarf or a hat over their wig, for an added sense of modesty. Opinions run the gamut from Sephardic and National Religious women, whose Rabbis feel that a wig is not modest enough, so these women wear scarves or hats, etc., all the way to Chabad women, who the Lubavitcher Rebbe encouraged to wear only wigs.

It is interesting to note that while men's head covering has to do with one's piety and awe of God, with women this is not at all the case. And the reason is fascinating: women are considered “Shutafot LaBoreh” – Partners to the Creator. They need no reminder of their obligation or piety or love for God. With women it is "built in" in everything they do. That is also why women are exempt from commandments that are time-based, because what they do is too important to interrupt with reminders of piety, which, unlike men, are unnecessary for them.

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